“What am I supposed to do with the pictures?”
Almost everyone can see the value in heirloom photographic art of their family and loved ones. Yet when it comes to boudoir styled images, you may struggle with what to do with their prints. One common thought seems to be that sensual images should be a gift for your partner. Well sure, it is an awesome gift and your partner would surely love images of you. Maybe it’s easier to convince yourself to do this type of photoshoot because it will benefit someone else, especially if you’re feeling insecure about how your images are going to turn out. It’s perfectly fine to use the justification that you’re doing this for someone else if it helps to push you to do something like this that may be a bit outside of your comfort zone. Let’s face it, not many of us are models, we aren’t used to seeing ourselves in pictures, especially so much of ourselves… Our experience with having our picture taken will likely be of having people take our picture that really doesn’t know how to use proper angles to flatter us and when we see the picture, we often think something like “yikes, is that what I look like?!”. The answer is no, not really. We’re far more used to our reflection in the mirror than our image photographed and they are very different. If you’ve read very many of my blogs then you’ve probably heard me say this before. We actually adjust our angles and expressions automatically when we see our reflection. We literally adjust how we look for our own benefit without even thinking about it. That’s right, we do this automatically. Also, when we see our reflection, we have movement, we’re not focusing on a frozen moment. A picture is a fraction of a second frozen in time for us to critique every square inch of. I grew up hating pictures of myself. I still remember experience feelings of overwhelm when I was with a group of people and someone would suddenly want a picture. I would just stand there trying to act casual while feelings of impending doom would flush over my body. Needless to say, I wasn’t very “photogenic” and I would always end up hating the picture and therefore confirming my belief and continuing the cycle. That’s likely why I have become so obsessed with taking beautiful images of people. There is a science to it and there is an art in it as well. I’m far from perfect, but my self worth has come leaps and bounds. I owe a lot of my comfort with myself to my photography journey and I want this for everyone who feels insecure. You can rest assured that I am going to make you look good.
“I don’t want my kids to see this!”, why not?! Why not show your children that it’s ok to love or at least accept their bodies? Why not show your children that women’s bodies are for their pleasure, NOT everyone else’s. We all know that our children learn more from what we do than what we say. Let’s take a moment to think about the messaging that we are sending our children. When we act ashamed of our bodies and of being sensual beings, we’re teaching our children that they should continue this cycle by being ashamed of their own bodies and their own sensuality. They are going to see sexy images unless you keep them under a rock and realistically you can’t do that forever. Do we really want the only images of women’s bodies they see to be for the benefit of advertisement and creepers? I try my best to teach my own son the difference between objectifying bodies and celebrating bodies because I believe it’s important. I’ve had to have honest conversations about the damage that pornography has while not judging him for being attracted to it. I can’t say that there is a right or a wrong way to have this conversation. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have it all figured out and that these times have been pretty awkward, but I think it’s important. If I had a daughter, I would want to be reinforcing regularly that her body was for her to enjoy and not for others to objectify and how to spot the difference. However, all families are different and I’m not about to tell you how to parent your children.
Images of you showing off your body deserves to be heirlooms. I personally think it’s pretty badass to have a large image of yourself looking boss in your home. I say; print it big! However, that’s not for everyone or maybe you’d rather the big print to be of you in killer heels and stylish outfit and you’d rather the more intimate images be kept in an album. I get it. I’ve been thinking about this and if I would have found an album of my grandma of her looking sexy, OMG I would have loved that. Not because I want to see my grandma in a sexy way…but because I do love to see people living shamelessly! YASSS Queen! I would be proud of her especially for the time that she lived in. My mom was a young woman in the sixties, can you say flower child?! I do happen to have some old polaroids of her shamelessly existing in her skin. I love it because it gives me some insight into the human being that she was. These images aren’t in with all the other family images, they are kept tucked away, but they give me something to relate to as a woman. She died when I was little, so unfortunately I didn’t have her around to teach me how to feel about my body. Seeing her in those images was really relatable and it reminds me that she was fighting stigma and body shame as well. Only she was doing it before the internet. Our online culture can be brutal and it is very important to note here that your pictures, especially more intimate images, are only empowering when YOU choose who sees them, where they are shown. Your body, your choice. We can either continue the stigma or we can decide to fight against it. We’re all human beings and can relate in that way, even if we don’t understand why some people feel empowered by showing their body while some people feel empowered by covering theirs. I don’t show my clients images unless they want me to. That’s why I often take self-portraits to show off a set or pose for boudoir or sensually styled images. It’s important to me that my clients feel empowered to display their images, how they feel most comfortable.
You are art. You should be celebrated. You are a sensual being and your sensuality is for YOU to enjoy. I want you to have art in your home that reminds you of these things. My favorite way to display boudoir art would be a large statement wall print. I would then follow that with wall groupings of two or three images that flow together. This tells more of a story than a statement. I tend to prefer black and white images on the wall because you have a lot of design options for the rest of what is in the room, however, I’ve seen these planned and designed well in color and they can really pull the whole room together when done well. I’ve included some examples below for you to see for yourself.
A luxurious album is my next favorite way to display your boudoir art. It’s a really great way to showcase your beautiful images in a more intimate way. There is a really lovely story-telling aspect to the album as well. The album can stay tucked away and only pulled out when you want to remember how beautiful you are or when you want to show it off. You are definitely going to want to show it off! This way you get to have easy control over who gets to see it. These albums have such a fabulous smell and feel to them that they create such a great experience for viewing your images. There is just something about holding it in your hands and turning through the pages that you will fall in love with it!
I hope that this blog has inspired you to live shamelessly in your skin, to exist in art, and (if you’re not already) to fall in love with yourself. If I have inspired you or piqued your interest, please reach out and let me know! I would love to keep the conversation going. Let’s keep fighting shame and stigma. Together we can change the narrative. Leave me a comment if you found this post helpful!
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